Posted in Lifestyle, Long reads, Motivation

New Year

“You`re not good at taking decisions” I`ve been told a few days ago and it`s true, no, to be honest that`s literally spot on.
Couldn`t have described myself in a better way, I`m always super insecure and find always super hard settling in either one path or the other.
Thing is there`s just so many of them, how can I now which one is the “good” one?
Unluckily the answer is you can`t, at least most of the time, but you still have to choose.
Few weeks ago I came back home in Italy after 2 awesome, and very intense years and I was kinda planning to settle here for a little bit, organise life a little bit and stuff.
Came back from London of course where I asked my old workplace if they “wanted me back” but since I got no answers I went back to italy, started to plan what I would be doing for the next few months and you know I was just starting to like the idea of me being home doing whatever but being home. And given how hard is taking decisions for me I was pretty satisfied moving towards something.
Of course yesterday morning my old workplace sent me a mail saying they didn`t see my message and saying that if I`m still interested they are still hiring and we could arrange a meeting or something.
Have to specify, this wouldn`t assure me the job, it`s still a maybe but I`m pretty confident that If I went to this meeting/trial I`d be hired.
(I`m deliberately leaving outside of this decision my girlfriend but that`s a complete different pair of sleeves)
This is mostly why I find so hard taking decisions, it takes so much time and as soon as I`m closer to one something else pops up.
Yes, I could just say no but I really do love London and it wouldn`t be for a long time and yes, I could just say yes cause I`d love to but it`s not a sure thing and most of all am I doing this just because is the “safe choice”?
I know I ask way to many questions and as someone said “it`s so easy I don`t even have to take a decision”, maybe it really is and I`m just focusing too much on the details and not seeing the bigger picture.
On the other side I`ve got a few ideas I`d like to pursue while being in Italy but they`re not running anywhere and during the time I`ve been back I`ve done nothing to get closer to them so I might aswell do someting usefull in the next months and save some money.
In the end it is an easier choice than it seems, I`m just scared to take it.