Posted in Long reads, Motivation, Travels

The weel of fortune

There we go again boys, I know it`s been a while, I guess a week or so, but with good reasons!
I think I wrote it somewhere in a post but anyway usually wwhen I`m not writing/posting for some time it`s because there is something wrong in my life and I`m trying to fix it.
I kinda see really pointless in writing to tell you guys to change your life if I`m not doing it myself, I`d rather focus on my problem and solve it and then write about it. Always found better when “advising” people if I can give a personal example, something to say you know, this is actually possible.
So I was kind of looking for a job here in Ireland but not really I mean I would go out and start looking for it but ended up getting tired of it pretty soon, tired of looking for a job and then in the evening being almost moody because I didn`t really accomplish anything during the day.
It`s really slippery slope distracting yourself from the main thing while doing something that is still usefull but can be postponed.
Coming back to the main subject, I started feeling lonely and stuff because of low motivation, I almost thought I wanted to go back, almost.
Then one day I woke up earlier and decided to have one more try and organized the day: I would go to the hairdresser(I really needed it), then help in the hostel as usual a few hours then go again droppin CVs left and right.
Went to the hairdresser, because of family genes I don`t have much hair and again because of “male family genes” I`ll be bald or almost before 30 years old, it`s ok I know it`ll happen and I`m at peace with it.
After the cut I discover this is happening way sooner than usual, alopecia, I believe everyone know what is it(basically there`s a “hole” on the side of my head) and it honestly broke me, I didn`t expected it. Went back at the hostel and you know, I just decided to try my best again and really put an effort and that happened, felt like shiet and first thought that come to my mind is basically “I`m just gonna get stupidly wasted and see”, going to add it was like 9/10 in the morning, nothing surprising as it`s something I already did in the past.
On the other side I didn`t want to give up, that`s one of the thing I`m running away from and I feel better so after 20/30 minutes of mumbling I opted for a nice and healthy run!
After helping in the hostel I was still feeling pretty bad but I went out anyway and I tried my best to get used to the fact people can see I`m missing hair, like sitting on a bench in the middle of everyone, even managed to drop a couple of CVs.
And started feeling better, I mean I honestly cannot do anything about it and it`s not even my fault: I know often is also due to stress and who knows me or have read any of my blog knows I`ve always dealt super badly with it so whatever.
You know what? Morning after i recieve a call from one of the places I left my Cv the day before and was asking me if I was free to pass by for a quick interview. This was actually last week`s thursday: I went and we talked a lil bit, everything seemed nice to me and he was like yes yes we will let you know as usual.
Let`s say two hours-ish later, I get another call from him asking me if I wanted to go the following day for a trial(restaurant), I went and everything was nice! Everyone was really friendly and the vibe was just great,the place was really small compared to the one I used to work in London and this means less customers at the same time.
Apparently it went pretty damn good because they asked to come on Saturday aswell and everyone seemed happy with me. On saturday I got my contract boys, I actually got a job, a really nice and “easy” one, and it all worked out in the end.
There are still a few things that need to be fixed in my life and a few details about the job that will need a couple of weeks to be organised but it`s just kinda minor things.
For as bad and dark things may seem at first don`t let them bring you down, sky can`t stay dark forever.

Posted in Lifestyle, Motivation, Quote of the day

Being lost and other stuff

There is something im missing, there must be.

I know I said karma and the idea if you do something then something will come back.

And I also know that it doesn’t work within minutes! 

I’m not expecting that, I know it takes time on the other side I have no clue what I am supposed to do because everytime this week I’ve done something something bad/wrong happened straight away. Good intentions? Waking up way earlier to do stuff? Nope.

And to be honest I wansn’t even doung that because I wanted something in return just because I believed was the right thing.

I’m lost, honestly.

Posted in Lifestyle, Motivation, Travels

Thursday thoughts

Change does not happen over night, unluckily.
It takes time and effort, sometimes more and sometimes less and usually the bigger the change the more it takes.
This, tho, shouldn`t scare us, this shouldn`t make us stop pursuing the change we want to achieve instead it should motivate us meaning that there is still lot to do and the work is not finished yt.
Usually when I`m not writing/posting it`s because I`m trying to fix/change something or there is something wrong in my life; let`s say there is something disturbing me and often I`m not noticing it as soon as it happen. When I notice it it takes effort to start changing it and of course it`s not easy.
So when it happens I see no reason in writing something because I`m not motivated, where is the point in keep on telling you guys to improve and all that stuff when I`m not? I`d rather wait, focus on the nuisance/mistake/whatever and, when I`m done and everything is fine again, write about it.
I imagine it would be really dumb and pointless to write about something while doing the opposite or write about something I don`t believe in.
I kind of got super lazy lately, not in a way that I`m doing nothing all day watching tv series, in a nicer way; I kept procastinating the more important stuff while “convincing” myself I was stil being productive writing and doing other secondary stuff. It`s not like I was doing nothing, I was still doing something usefull but in my head I was saying like “You know, it`s ok if you`re not doing this (which you should really need to start doing!) because in the mean time you are focusing on writing (which is still good but not really what you should be focusing right now) and I`m really good at this!
But today I actually managed to do both, not in a perfect way but you know, I set the ball rolling and we can start from here, I`m fine with it.

Posted in Lifestyle, Motivation, Travels

Wednesday`s life update

Random life update time.
So if everyone has read a few of my post you`ll know I have a girlfriend, we love each other and it`s beautifull.
And we live in two different country.
I mean it`s bad but not that bad, we haven`t seen eah other in a month and a half ish but if everything goes as planned she`ll come visit me twice in October and November and for Christmas we`ll both go back to our families in Italy.
It`s sad because of course I do miss her but I`m loving the kind of relation we have and that makes it worth it, we boh love to travel around, mostly alone, so we have to accept compromise but you know it goes both ways.
I love it because she always takes out the best of me and push me to keep on improving, important note is that I`m not doing it for her but for me; I do love when she is proud of me, the feeling is great but it`s a plus we should do stuff because we want to not because someone wants us to.
Also, we have a lot of freedom as in she works a lot and I love having my space/time alone while not minding the phone so we are not spending the day just texting each other! To be honest every once in a while, she works in a hostel, the job takes most of her time and I`m kinda sad because she is not answering but then I realize that and I kinda feel dumb.
But anyway, it does take a lot of “effort” as it`s not an easy thing and to be honest again I wouldn`t wish this to anyone because the thing is I woulnd`t be happy with a normal/boring/seeing each other every single day and doing eveything together relationship; for a little bit? Yea but totally not on the long run.

Posted in Motivation, photographies, Pics, Uncategorized

Pics are not so bad tho

I was taling with my lady last night, she is traveling in Spain for a couple of weeks so she`s tryin not to watch her phone too often and ejoying the holidays which is totally fine with me, I`d probably do the same in her situation but more of this might come in an another post.
The reason why I brought this is because I knew she wasn`t answering so I kinda used the chat as a summary, brought all my thoughts of the week and wrote down a sort of list of things and stuff.
Among them being to learn a couple of instrument, not like at a very good level, just you know to spend the time, no idea when or where but you never know.
And then I talked a little bit about photographies, which by the way I kinda never took cause I`m not the kind of guy. But, and it`s a big but(sorry about that) I feel confused now because sometimes while walking arond I can hear my inner self saying “Oh you know, those clouds you keep watching would do just fine in a photo” which pretty much never happened.
Reason why I`m confused is basically here.
Little summary is that I never liked taking pictures because you would take them in really nice moments you want to remember right? Thing is the moment you start focusing on taking the photo you`re kinda losing the moment, you`re not as focused on it as before.
Which to me makes sense only partially now.
I guess we could say truth is always in the middle, it`s perfect to just enjoy fully the moment but lately I`ve been finding myself so happy/into it/enthusiastic that I really want to immortalize it in some ways, just a quick shot tho nothing special or long that doesn`t take much effort.
Because sometimes finding a random old pic brings out so mamy memories and things to say which you hadn`t forgotten anyway but they were just there somewhere deep.
So yep guys, I too, am wrong sometimes.

Posted in Lifestyle, Motivation, Music

Friday night randomness

You know, last night I was kinda tired and just wanted to lay down watching films but I felt guilty so I grabbed all my remaining energy and went for a walk in the city centre, it`s not a huge city but not even that small so there were people walking araound like me and randomly I stumbled upon a group of guys playing music on the streets and they were honestly good, there was even a violin!
So I stood there for like half an hour and people kept coming and coming, they were playing songs I personally like, Lonely boy from The Black keys being one of them and I was already happy that way; then all of a sudden they started playing song I`m really attached too, “Free Fallin” by John Mayer then “I will wait” by Mumford & Sons and giving the final blow with “No diggity” by Ed Sheeran, there were many others but those 3 were the ones I remember most deeply of my time in London.
This, guys, just to say that life is random, not completely but you know, the most part is. And it`s pretty much impossible to know what is gonna happen. There`s a saying “You never know what is going to happen when you walk out of that door” and it`s true but hey, it does say when you walk out because if you don`t not much will happen. Not saying it is a bad thing it`s just you already know your “comfort zone”, that`s why we call it that way, it`s what outside that is unknown and surprising; sure it does take effort but if you`re willing too it gives so much back.
It doens`t take much, only that first little push cause ass soon as you do it you`ll notice it`s worth it.
Meanwhile I got left there with teary eyes and thankful for these 5 guys, a kiwi one, 2 australian, a german and an irish that decided forming a band would be fun.
Going to take the opportunity saying that if you have a dream, as weird as it could be, just follow it because there will always be a guy like me getting emotional for it.