I have no idea what this is about but I know for sure that there is something inside me that`s completely blocking me, something cutting me off.
I just can feel it, you know the sensation when there is something wrong and you it deep down.
Problem is that i`ve got no idea what the problem is, how ironic.
So I`m honestly gonna stay here and put things down until I find out cause is pretty annoying, not saying I`m sad or depressed or anything like that, just dead inside, living the same day all over again every single day without emotions.
Just a tiny summary, spent an amazing year in London then came back home and moved to a little apartment real close to my family`s house and probably gonna be here for a couple of months, we could say I had to fight some demons in my head.
Spending a year abroad was just great and I knew perfectly what going home would mean, and was completely my choice so I can`t even blame anyone but I was really scared to get sucked in, sucked in the daily routine which, living in a hostel for a year, is totally new to me.
To say the thruth is not that new, before leaving I was totally sinking deep in that routine but during the last year I opened my eyes and saw how it was on the other side and how satisfying it was.
It`s pretty sad but as soon as I came back puf, back in there.
So I was thinking, It actually doesn`t matter how hard you can try to avoid things, you can do the impossible and be the best but things still happen. My idea is, since stuff still happen we shouldn`t focus that much on preventing but actually on growing some balls and fight it.
Beware as always there are some exceptions but in general we can try to avoid something as much as we want but sooner or later something is gonna happen and we should be ready to put our best into fixing it.
Personally I don`t have a direction right now, I`m in a Limbo but as I always like to push the idea of being an example, I wanna give a special mention to my last tattoo. It`s a compass with a heart and a mic above it, let`s leave the heart and microphone aside for this time cause I wanna focus on the compass.
I believe all of us has one inside, it`s the thing telling us in which direction we should go, in my case the compass has only one direction, it only has the letter N on top where i`ts ponting.
The idea here is that everyone of us should be like that compass, always pointingin one direction, being it “forward”, not at the sides and expecially not behind. To make it easier we should be always looking in front of us and always going forward in our lives, no looking back or distraction, there is only us and what lies in front. Forward being improving aswell, always striving for the best.
To quote real quick one of my favourite phrases, which I`m gonna talk about another time, “Are you doing you`re best to be you`re best?”
How beautiful isn`t it?
Partial conclusion for now is that the thing blocking me is just me, I`m just being really really lazy apparently and since I deeply hate the kind of people who say really nice thing and then do the opposite I`m just gonna go out there and burn the freaking place down.


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